And other trick questions

It’s a beautiful day in Hallstatt, Austria and my family is waiting in line to ride a funicular to the top of Hallstatt to enjoy the views overlooking the city. Thankfully, the line wasn’t very long, so we only had to wait for one group to go up before it was our turn. Our kids, ages 2 and 3, stand in line, rattling off questions nonstop like they often do. We inch closer and stand next to a wall with a large metal plate. I look down in time to see my two-year-old daughter get THAT look in her eyes, you know, the one where you know she is about to do something unpredictable.

You will either want to run away from the aftermath or wish you could pull a disappearing act. My old dog Zeke (rest in peace) would get the same look in his eyes before taking off like a shot down the street with me chasing him down the road, looking like a mad woman. Sure enough, she sticks her tongue out and proceeds to lick the entire length of the metal plate on the wall. My husband and I scrambled to grab her, but it was too late. The saliva damage had been done, and the laughter from the people standing in line was palpable, especially those without kids.

This charade was mild in the grand scheme of things, and we laugh about it now. You know what we didn’t laugh about at the time? We were sitting in Hoi An, Vietnam, enjoying a relatively calm dinner (is that even a thing with two littles) when disaster struck. Sitting next to our then 8-month-old daughter, my husband caught a whiff of something hairy in the air. OK, a standard diaper change is needed, no problem. Oh, these were fools’ thoughts. As a military man who typically remains much more composed than me in these situations, I look across the table to see sheer panic and hear, “We have a situation.” A situation was stating it mildly. We remove her from the seat, now laden with, well, you know, and rush her to the restroom. Thankfully, we had a friend traveling with us who stayed with our two-year-old son during this time.

Upon entering the bathroom, one quick assessment and I knew that the adorable outfit I had bought her for this trip was now a goner. We stripped her down and opened the diaper bag, and now we REALLY have a situation. One wipe, one long-sleeved shirt, and one diaper remained inside. If you haven’t caught on to the magnitude of the problem, one wipe will not remedy the horror show in front of us. We looked around and discovered this fancy bathroom had washcloths for drying off hands; one was about to be sacrificed for the greater good. We stuck her little booty under the faucet, got her cleaned off, and eventually made our way back to the table. When we sat, my husband flagged down the waiter and ordered a strong bourbon.

I could go on to brag about my daughter’s ability to puke in each country we visit, but I don’t want you to get too excited. I also shouldn’t let her have all the glory in this story; my son has bolted through immigration in Nepal (while we were waiting in line), threw himself down on many an airport floor, and attempted to jump on a moving luggage carousel. Why, why did I open with this? The absolute truth is that traveling with kids is hard. We know raising them is hard, so this should not come as a surprise.

*One child excited to see Tiger’s Nest in Bhutan, the other not so much*

If you are considering diving into the world of toddler travel, welcome, and may the odds ever be in your favor. Here are some tips and musings I have put together while reminiscing about our two children's travels to Vietnam, Nepal, Bhutan, Cambodia, Iceland, Scotland, and many more. My husband and I were avid travelers when we met, so it only made sense to us when we had children and found ourselves stationed overseas that we would bring them along with us.

Are you ready? Ok, let’s do this.

1) If you are not an experienced traveler before children, start slow. Take a weekend road trip nearby, try short flights to acclimate your children to flying, and find your rhythm.

2) Have a way to carry your baby or toddler on you. Strollers, especially if you are traveling in Asia, are less than ideal in busy cities. We invested in the Osprey Poco backpacks for both our children, and our daughter still rides in hers to this day. This frees up your hands to shop, eat on the go, and document your journey. It’s also an excellent way for the children to grab a nap if you cannot get to lodging when they typically nap.

*Both children in our Osprey Poco Carriers in Bhutan*

3) Speaking of naps, we usually try to maintain our nap schedule when we travel. Depending on the day's activities, it's not always possible, but when I plan, it’s usually with a built-in nap or rest time at midday for everyone.

4) Curb your expectations. Don’t build this trip up in your mind and set unrealistic expectations for your family, especially your children. Young children won’t always sit still in the restaurant or be able to make it through that three-hour tour of the Vatican you are planning. Set realistic expectations and go with the flow of your children. If you find your travel inspiration online, make sure you are seeking out travelers who are actively traveling with children versus people without children. Kids are the unknown variable, the component that completely changes the format of a trip. For good or for bad, kids, especially toddlers, will change how you travel.

5) Plan one or two big activities for the day, but be flexible. In addition to nap time, we try to find a park or activity solely for the kids. We want to mold future travelers but also honor that they are small children, and their wants and needs vary from ours.

*At the top of the hike to the Old Mann of Storr, Isle of Skye, Scotland*

6) Travel with a few comforts of home, but don’t overpack. If your child has a favorite snack you might not be able to get during your travels, bring that along. We carry a sound machine with us on every trip since both children sleep with one at home, and they never leave home without their favorite blankies.

7) Know there will be times when it’s stressful. Travel can be unpredictable, and when you add a few toddlers to the mix, watch out. Things will happen: delayed flights, your daughter puking in the back of the shuttle, flat tires in the middle of Vietnam (yeah, that trip was wild for us). Your reaction will make or break the journey.

8) Invest in a good travel car seat. We bought the Pico Way-B travel car seats (suitable for ages two and up) we travel with. They fold in half and can both fit in a large backpack. When our daughter was younger, we would arrange cars through hotels and request a car seat, but sometimes, you cannot get one depending on where you travel.

9) If you are flying a long distance, surprise them with something new and bring along the mess-free water coloring books you can grab on Amazon. Prepare to walk the aisles and keep them entertained as much as possible. If that looks like a tablet for you, go for it. Our children’s tablets are strictly for planes and trains and have educational games, coloring programs, and a few shows to entertain them.

*Exploring Black Sand Beach in Vik, Iceland*

So, at this point, you might think, “I’ll just wait until the kids are grown to travel again.” And for many, that is the path they desire. It’s wholly ok to recognize that jumping into traveling with toddlers is not for you. It costs more to travel with kids and it’s more stressful. So, why even travel with them? Why do we do it?

Even through all the stressful moments and oftentimes chaos of travel, with each trip, our children get a little bolder. They get more confident and are exposed to cultures worldwide that my husband and I never experienced growing up. We learn as a family about a new place, the people, and how they live. We learn about new traditions and foods; sharing that with our children is an experience (for us) we cannot replace. Traveling as adults has undoubtedly made us more empathetic humans, and we have fully embraced living life abroad with our two small children. We hope our children grow up wanting to continue to explore this beautiful world with an open mind, spreading kindness wherever they embark.

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